Recollection (subject matter for mature audiences)

-This is a simply a short story that I have written, it does have mature subject matter, sexual content as well, so read at your own risk..aha couldn't think of a way to end that little blurb there...


Sitting at the edge of the bed, I anxiously wait for you to come in, swinging my feet softly, I absentmindedly stare into the dresser mirror. As I hear the door softly open, I look up to catch your gaze, you stare intently, lingering for an extra moment. Slowly walking around the bed, you crawl up behind me, gently kissing the back of my head. I sigh softly to your familiar touch. You trace your fingers over my body, outlining every curve, slowly pulling me back into the middle of the bed, your arms around me. Your kisses travel down my neck and reach my shoulders, where you turn me around to kiss my trembling lips; your touch sends shivers down my spine. You stop to look at me again, I return your stare with a smile and reach up to hold your face and kiss you again, this time with a growing passion and need. Laying me down, you proceed to kiss my body, lingering at my stomach before you slip my night gown off. Fully exposed, I want you to have me. Spreading my legs, you kiss my inner thigh, working your way to my most sacred place, when you get there, you greet with another soft kiss. I feel overwhelmed, my body pulsing for more. Your tongue sliding along feels so warm and seems to be too much for me to handle, but you don’t stop, you continue to satisfy your hunger. Plunging a finger inside of me, followed by a second, you send me over the top, I gasp in pure pleasure as my body stiffens, suddenly appearing to be hungry all over again, you lap up my juices. Not wanting this to ever end, I ask you to have me. You lift your head searching for reassurance in my expression, with that confirmed; you slowly climb on top of me. Breathing heavily I wait as time starts to speed up, you’re already going in, I gasp in shock. My mind becomes too cluttered to concentrate, I close my eyes. I feel you slowly going in and out, I can feel everything, as you pick up speed the pain slowly numbs, sobering my thoughts. I open my eyes to meet yours, sharing a silent thought, that you now have a special part of me that can only be given once.

A Little Blurb

Alright, so I’ve not written anything in a couple days, I know, I guess I have been feeling lower lately and not too sure how I am to explain to you why that is so. And I don’t feel that open right now, so explaining to you I shall not. Nothing too exciting going on, I just finished eating some chicken noodle soup from Tim Horton’s though, I love their fresh soups, way better than caned. Anyways, that’s pretty much it right now, just thought you should know that nothing exciting is happening. I’m tired, so perhaps I will dream about exciting things happening, I’ll let you know.

Deathly Beautiful

I’m not hungry, I already ate she says.
I watch her; the game called death is what she plays.
I’m with her when she looks into the mirror time after time.
Repeating in her head she doesn’t look fine.
Beside her at night when she prays,
She wants to be beautiful someday.
Wasting herself away to nothing,
She ignores the words, “you should eat something”.
I hear her cries of desperation.
She fails again, no inspiration.
Deathly beautiful is what she is.
“Beautiful” is what she seems to miss.
No, she can’t do it by herself.
Needs someone to take her off the shelf.
To take her hand and tell her it will be alright.
That you’re not giving up until she wins the fight.
I am the one to take his hand.
Head held high, I’m ready to stand.

Just This Once

Your feelings for me have gone away.
Don’t have it in your heart for you to stay.
You tell me you love me, but it just won’t work.
Going on like this is driving you berserk.
I know I can’t hold onto you forever.
Confused, you told me always and ever?
So I’m asking you, just this once…
Let me hold you as if you were mine.
As if I knew nothing and things were fine.
Just this once…
Let me kiss your lips.
Allow me to lose myself in your embrace.
I want to remember this state of grace.
Just this once…
Will you whisper in my ear?
Close to me, you’ll always be here.
Let me cry these tears and give up this fight.
Allow me to lie next to you, just one more night.
Please, just this once…

October

The sweet smell of ginger as she floats past me.
Her auburn curls sparkling in the sun setting light.
Does she know that she has run away with my heart?
In my mind I see us both, walking together on calm October's day.
Yes, she reminds me of October.
The way her skirt dances in the cooling breeze, like colorful leaves dance around your feet.
Her skin so perfect against autumn's sun, how delicate it makes her look.
The way her smile warms your heart, like hot apple cider.
I long for the taste of her lips and the feeling of her touch.
Dare I hope?
How fortunate I am to witness October's beauty.
Dare I want?
Her eyes so blue with passion and wonder.
Dare I say I need her?
Yes, she reminds me of October.

Umm Thanks?

That is the second time now, stupid drunk people. So anyways was at the strip club last night and again a guy asked me if I worked there and that I was too beautiful not to. And the last time, this guy took out his wallet and asked me how much I charged for lap dances, he thought I was a stripper too. Last night didn’t turn out the way I wanted, my friend and I had some drinks and then were going to head to the strip club, but then it turns out she doesn’t have her picture id because her ex took it, so she wound up going home and I went to the strip club all by myself, wasn’t as fun as I wanted the night to be. As soon as she gets her new id, we are going to go out, so we will make up for it. I also learned a valuable lesson last night of what not to do when you are drunk, yuck, that’s all I’m saying. Now that I have told you about my drunken night, you should know I’m not always like that, I’m a good girl, I just like to go out and have fun sometimes. I’m so broke now until the end of the month, it sucks, but oh well, the security people in the club were so strict last night, so wasn’t cool. Anyone have any suggestions of places to go where they are more laid back?

Weird Vibes?

Last night I wanted to try those new Wendy’s frosty smoothies, so I did. Well anyways, I order my smoothie, and I get a weird vibe from this worker there. It wasn’t from him, himself, overall he seemed kind enough, just a weird vibe like he knew something that he was withholding from me or that I reminded him of someone. As I was leaving he told me to take care, anyways I was just thinking about it all night because I wanted to know what he was thinking so badly. We rented movies last night, I still need to watch them, the movie store we went to drives me crazy, not really, but it does annoy me. You are in the store for at least an hour, because the movies are all bunched together, not even in regular cases, in skinny ones that stick together, and it is just so time consuming. I’m trying not to be in an annoyed mood right now because it reflects in my writing, but I am, my sister’s overly loud chewing isn’t helping, and she has to be eating chips, and of course she is wearing my clothes again. I want a new bathing suit; I’m thinking a hot pink bikini, any suggestions? Perhaps a walk will do me well, though my hair is crap right now, so I will have to wait for my relaxing walk.

Cheese Without Crackers?

Since someone left the cracker box open, I had to eat my cheese without crackers, frustrates me so much, who likes stale crackers? Actually I’ m just kidding; I didn’t want crackers with my cheese anyways. The mail lady still hasn’t given me what I wanted, sometimes I feel like a stalker for watching her out of our living room window. I’m afraid to put lol, or *grins*, it is so grammatically incorrect, though I just did, so there defeats the purpose. It seems like it’s going to be a boring day, I would like to take a shower, but people are here fixing things, that sort of throws a monkey wrench into things because I need to go to the bank before it closes and my hair is a mess. Least we get to rent movies tonight, and I believe we are going shopping tomorrow. “We”, meaning my parents and siblings, I have seven siblings. Listening to the radio, what are places you suggest meeting someone with lower chances of them being crazy? They suggested church, book store, work, and a coffee shop, what do you think?

Oleander Bliss

Ignorance is bliss she did so insist
Until she received Oleander's kiss
As the poison scattered through her veins
She had not prepared for these hateful pains
Blinded by its beauty, she couldn't see the truth
Behind the white mask, there lay her proof
There she saw what had not been seen
A fairytale once, how twisted it'd been
Nearly dead, being left that way
She knew not what the right thing to say
Naïve she would not ever be again
For she tasted the evils she knew not of then
Famous words, things are not what they seem
Can't live life as if it's a dream
Ignorance is not bliss she would insist
From receiving an Oleander's kiss

Some Poetry For You To See

And a man spoke, saying, Tell us of Control.
And she said:
Control is, the very hand you use to strike fear into the eyes of the intended, the very hand you use to make peace.
And to you, she’s just a mere doll who takes her place. She forces that famous smile upon her face.
Her smile, overused, just a habit, something that means nothing at all.
Control is, the slaying of her soul, the crushing of her being, as she gives up her freedom to free will.
And that mere doll, whose eyes fill with despair, crashing to the ground into a million pieces, too far gone to go back.
She sits there in the locked room you’ve created for her, the key hung around your neck, its cool metallic touch a constant reminder of your power.
The room’s cold dark walls only seem to close in every time she tries to fight. Her attempts are useless; she can do nothing without the key.
And here, a little ballerina sits, fully aware of your intentions, though all she can do is obey.
The hands you use to control her are calloused and rough; she feels no kindness from your touch.

And a man spoke, saying, Tell us of Confusion.
And she said:
Confusion is a room full of mirrors, in every direction you turn; you just end up where you started.
Your eyes dart maniacally, searching, searching for a way out.
In all reality, confusion is just a state of mind; you are the creator of your distress.
In an attempt to free yourself, you smash the glass, though what you are left with is nothing, darkness that goes on forever.
You lunge yourself into that darkness, hoping to find your way out, but you fail miserably.
Your thoughts become scattered, making it impossible to concentrate.
You know that you’ve lost your way, but you don’t know how to save yourself.

And a man spoke, saying, Tell us of Loneliness.
And she said:
Loneliness is cold and damp, with little light to comfort you.
A dripping faucet heard in the near distance, a reminder of what you had.
Salvation is just beyond your fingertips, but you’re too convinced you’re on your own, the mind becoming a weapon against you.
Sliding yourself down the washroom wall, you cradle your head in your hands. And that dripping faucet in the near distance proceeds to get louder, until it seems to be completely unbearable.
You close your stinging bloodshot eyes, not caring if you ever open them again. Your thoughts become tainted and you start to believe the ridiculous lies you’ve created.

All Over Again

I thought it be about time that I start blogging again. I used to blog, but you know, things happen... Ahem, get caught up with a controlling boyfriend who makes you delete it. You know the usual. I enjoy writing, so if I remember, you will be seeing a lot of my writing, isn’t that wonderful? You will also be seeing my poetry and pictures that I decide are important enough to show you. I’m emotional and sensitive; you’re probably going to see a lot of that too. And just in case you got lazy and didn’t read all my details, I will explain them here. I am a smart girl, easy to get along with, quite shy but I usually warm up. I don’t trust easily, few do I really trust, I don’t trust men, easy as that. I like fruity things, which of course includes candy; I also like flowers, white and pink roses especially. I love animals, having two cats and a dog myself. I’m a good listener and I love to help, I do expect respect and to be treated the way I deserve to be treated. And if I’m not, well just so you know, I bite, and will not let it slide. With all of that said, I will end this blog here, see you next time.